My partner and I agreed we don't want to have kids. I can't stand kids but he offers to babysit for his friends and family. Is it wrong to tell him I don't want him babysitting at our house anymore?
Hmm, well, that’s tough if it’s “our” place. Then again, if the kids are young and you have fragile items throughout the house and it’s more work childproofing the place before the rugrats arrive, then he might agree that it’s easier for him to go to the parents’ house to watch the nose pickers. (If you really want to be sneaky, buy something similar to an item you have in your house and then break it and tell him the kids did it so they can’t come over anymore! Seriously. Well, maybe.)
This might be a bigger question of you tolerating kids near you versus simply being in the same building as them. When he’s babysitting, is he being the fun uncle watching the youngsters or is it a team effort that you’re pulled into the action? If it’s all him, there’s no problem with you hanging out somewhere else in the house or confining the babysitting action to select areas – you know, the rooms with non-breakables.
Your complaint seems twofold: One, you don’t like kids. Two, because you don’t like them you don’t want him with them either. Am I right? I could understand having the discussion about not breeding and him having a change of heart and pressuring you since parenting is a lengthy commitment – lifelong, potentially. If this is your way of telling him that you don’t like kids so he can’t either, that’s not fair at all. So, I wonder if you’re making this a bigger issue than it needs to be. And be thankful he’s getting his fill of kids through someone else and not having a change of heart and wanting his own. Babysitting is a good compromise.
Most parents wouldn’t have an issue with a trusted babysitter coming to their house to watch the kids. In fact, most insist on it since that’s where all the kid stuff is already. It’s easier than the parents packing up bags and snacks and clothes to haul their spawn across town.
I think you might be looking at this the wrong way. If the babysitting is all on him and he’s owning the experience from beginning to end, this is your chance to have a night out and do your own thing. As long as you come home and there’s not a trace that your place was a daycare for a few hours, there’s no issue.
If he’s volunteering for overnight or weekend babysitting, well, there’s nothing wrong with doing a staycation at an area hotel and having some spa time to yourself – that he pays for!