I don't have OCD but it drives me insane that my partner doesn't put stuff in the fridge or cupboards the way I like things organized. I've mentioned it and he's laughed it off. How do I get him to take it seriously?
Stop. Wait. It’s a tad OCDish. And it sounds like something you need to manage yourself.
It’s fine to have a preference for how things are organized in a fridge or cupboards but if you’re implementing rules and enforcing them for whatever reason – and let’s be honest, having all the labels facing forward isn’t worth fighting about – that’s, I gotta say, a you issue. By your own admission, this is “the way you like things organized” but I’m sure there’s things he likes done certain ways that he’s either casually mentioned or has never told you and he lets it go.
Now, if he’s going into the fridge, leaving it open and leaving the room for 10 minutes, sure, give him a kick in the ass. But it’s about the milk going on the left and the apple juice on the right, I mean, yikes. You sound like a nightmare to live with.
It’s one thing to take into consideration your partner’s feelings about things that matter but, really, what’s the point of your neurotic organization, anyway? Does the food taste better? Does it keep longer? It’s in the goddamn fridge and that’s good enough.
If all else fails, have separate areas (shelves, etc.) and you do what you want with yours and he’s allowed to do whatever he wants with his. If they don’t match up, who cares.
You’re making him sound like the bad guy for laughing off your feelings but if you were to tell 10 people about your trivial rules, do you think they’d have your side or his side? I venture to guess you wouldn’t get much support when you say it’s simply your preference to militaristically run your kitchen. I even wonder if some of those folks would laugh at you, too. (Remember to open with “I don’t have OCD” so they can start judging right away.)
I’m being harsh with this to make you realize that your expectations are a bit controlling. You started out defensive (“I don’t have OCD”) so by your own self-diagnosis you’re saying it’s you just being picky. If you told me you do have OCD, that changes things and I’d be less critical.
By chance, was this your home before he moved in? Or has it been your place together from the beginning? This sounds like something you were accustomed to before him that he’s not conforming to. Am I correct? He moved in, saw you labelled shelves, organized jars from tallest to smallest and stacked bowls by color and he laughed at you, didn’t he? Truthfully, do you blame him?