I only said yes to my partner's marriage proposal to spare his feelings. Should I tell him and break off the engagement or go through with the wedding?
Hmm… well, now that’s just awkward, isn’t it? There are some things we can’t backtrack on as the reality sets in to what we’ve agreed and committed.
The great thing is you’ve committed to an engagement – that’s not the same thing as a wedding… right now, anyway. Plenty of couples stay engaged for years simply because they wanted to make the commitment “official” with the formalities of a proposal. The wedding is usually the extra step to make it official with friends, family and everyone else you can afford to entertain for a few hours.
Unless you’re in advanced talks for a wedding to happen in the coming months or year or years, you still have plenty of time to reassess your feelings. I’m thinking you’re conflating engagement and an actual wedding. It sounds like you’re having second thoughts about getting married but not the commitment of an engagement -- otherwise you'd have broken up by now.
Is this a long-term relationship? If not, why are you sticking it out? Is it just booty calls? Is it for companionship so you're not alone? You describe the person as a "partner" so there's at least some level of commitment and loyalty. Though, have you had those conversations with your partner about where you see things going? If not, is there really open communication between you?
You still need time to figure things out. There’s nothing wrong with breaking off an engagement down the road. In fact, that’s easier to walk back than having a wedding and sharing the moment with countless people only to feel shame and embarrassment when the marriage inevitably ends.
If you feel it’s worth bringing up and having “the talk” about the relationship, tread carefully because it could end up in a fight with accusations about not loving him. Open communication is generally a way to avoid misunderstanding and conflict but marriage is a serious idea for people -- especially the proposer. If the doubt is just something in the back of your mind right now, then worry about it when the talk of the wedding comes up.
It's only an engagement for right now. Ask almost anyone: an engagement doesn’t really change a relationship. You’re still the same couple you were the day before the question was popped. Unless the clock is ticking for the fiancé, the wedding can be at a much, much later time – if at all.