Skipping school isn’t a new concept. In fact, it’s a rite of passage in most schools. (There’s actually a “cut day” at the high school I attended, a time when it’s widely known to students and teachers as the designated day to skip class.)
For Gabe, he hated one of his teachers and would do anything to get out of class. With a math test scheduled, Gabe thought he could ditch the class that day and avoid having to take the test altogether. Feeling confident that his absence could span the entire day without going noticed – a la Ferris Bueller – Gabe planned a day of fun at the mall and his favorite lunch spot.
With his attempt to avoid Mr. Hudson in the afternoon class, Gabe enjoyed his morning checking out the latest CDs at the mall’s music store. He got some lunch and then went to the movie theatre. After the film, Gabe’s teenage hormones kicked in and he went to a newsstand to get his jollies flipping through adult magazines. They were always high up on a top shelf, sometimes behind a slight plastic barrier but the title could be seen peeking from above.
When the coast was clear of adult customers, it wasn’t uncommon for high-school boys to gather around and flip through some pages and giggle with excitement. The cashiers at the store wouldn’t allow the purchase of said materials but didn’t stop the group for ogling.
The convenience store that he and friends frequented didn’t have any mags in stock. The cashier, who obviously recognized the thirsty teen, mentioned another place close by that had an entire section devoted to the printed smut. It wasn’t a porn store, it was technically a newsstand. Curious and definitely interested in the prospect, Gabe all but ran to the place to check it out.
When he got there, a loud door chime announced his entrance. Instantly, he noticed all eyes dart in his direction as if to startle anyone who just got busted doing something they shouldn’t be. Aisles and aisles of magazines and newspaper racks filled the store. Any kind of car magazine, music publication, sports periodical – and every interest in between – was available. Curiously, though, dirty magazines didn’t appear in the mix. Surely, in a place with so much variety there had to be some skin mags. (Did the convenience store dude lie?)
As he casually wandered the aisles pretending he didn’t know what he was looking for, Gabe made his way to the back of the store where he noticed an entirely different section to the left.
It was largely blocked by the long customer service counter upon entry. Now, in visual sight of what he came for (leave it alone), Gabe slowly and very nonchalantly moseyed over to, what’s this, gasp, nudie magazines?? Oh my word.
But there was a barrier in the way – literally. There was an admission fee. One dollar. It was something Gabe was sure to be refused because an ID displaying his age would absolutely be required before entering such adult territory. Not necessarily.
Gabe’s arrival to the gate was intercepted by an employee who asked for the admission fee and insisted on taking his backpack. He's still uncertain if that was about stealing or just that he might have, you know, accessories in there that could get him in trouble. Now, in the land of printed titties and dickies, Gabey looked on in amazement as every kind of porn magazine was slapping him in the face like a… well, I’m not gonna…
After exploring three walls and two long racks of magazines, Gabe happened upon a doorway leading to a darkened hallway. Curious, he went through and instantly smelled cigarettes. The walls were painted black and save for a few red light bulbs, it was like navigating in darkness. He could hear noises but couldn't discern what they were or exactly from where they were coming. (Keep your puns to yourself.) Eventually, as he slowly walked, a thin wooden door popped open to Gabe's left and a man walked out and exited the hallway into daylight again. Nervously taking hold of the door, Gabe popped his head in to take a look. It was small booth with a small TV displaying a distorted porn movie. On the floor, several balls of tissue.
With the heavy layer of cigarette smoke nearly choking him, Gabe spent barely a few seconds in the booth before realizing what he had entered. You’d put coins into a slot, pick a movie and get your rocks off before the time kicked off the picture. A little creeped out by the experience, Gabe noticed a small hole in the wall and something circling the outside of it. Looking closer, Gabe realized it was a human finger. He was instantly startled and left the booth, clamoring to exit the hormone hallway.
As he hung a right to go back to the store’s magazine area, he ran into math teacher, Mr. Hudson, who was making his way into the hallway -- one that was much different than the ones he, too, was avoiding at school.
The two shared no words, save for an awkward hi, as Gabe reached for his backpack on the other side of the counter and bolted. Fearing he’d be in trouble after getting caught skipping school, Gabe realized he then had leverage over Mr. Hudson. Sure, a student skipped school and got busted. Is that really worse than a teacher skipping school and passing a student in a porn enclosure during school hours? Who’s in more trouble in this scenario?
Remarkably, Gabe got an A+ on a math test, to this day, he’s never seen.