My partner doesn't get much holiday time with his job but I have lots of vacation time to use. Is it wrong to go on vacation without my partner? I feel guilty about having a good time without him.
It might seem like a slap in the face to skip the country and have fun without him. At the same time, people have different perks at their jobs. If it’s nothing he can do anything about, he can’t really complain about how little time off he gets – save for demanding more or getting a new job.
As for it being insensitive, I don’t think it is. Then again, there’s no harm in asking him point blank: “Are you cool with me going?” If he puts his foot down and tells you that you can’t go, well, that’s another discussion to have about the controlling relationship.
But if you love travelling and he knows this, he’ll probably be fine with it. If he’s the jealous type, I wouldn’t recommend it. Would you be going on your own or with someone else or a group of friends? If you’re going with others he knows and is familiar with he might enjoy a break and have some time to himself without worrying about your safety the whole time.
If you really want to be a considerate partner, you could focus on doing stuff for him while he’s stuck at work. I’m not suggesting being a slave and doing all of his chores and having dinner ready every night. (Although, that would be heaven to most people working and coming home to a partner who’s had a free day.)
Depending on how much more time off you have compared to him, you could always use those few extra days before and after a trip with him to focus on the final preparations to ensure everything is ready. If travelling together as a couple isn’t a big deal for you, what about you flying out a day or two before to scope things out and see if you need to make any adjustments to your plans. It’s one thing to book a trip with internet research but once you’re on the ground it could be a different story.
You had an extra day in town and had time to check out the trendy restaurant down the street from the hotel and it’s something he’d love and want to experience. Suddenly you’re the hero on the trip! On the flip side, you might find out one of your planned activities isn't what you expected so you can scrap it before he's in town so you don't have to waste time while he's there.
Circling back to the initial thought: I'd say going on a vacation without him is fine. It sounds like you want to do it so why put limits on your happiness and freedom? If he's got a problem with it, well, it's his problem to deal with. It's not your fault your job has better perks.