I enjoy sleeping in but my partner likes waking up early. Every time he wakes up early, the movement also wakes me up and then I can't get back to sleep. What's the compromise for this situation?
Separate bedrooms! Problem solved. But, here’s the thing: if he’s not intentionally waking you up and you’re a light sleeper, that’s not really his fault. Now, if he’s talking to you and turning on lights, well, then he’s a dick.
It’s not uncommon for couples to sleep in separate rooms. Usually it’s because of snoring but oftentimes it’s because of differing schedules. Someone who works late nights or shift work is a perfect example. When I was growing up, my dad woke up two hours earlier than my mom – every day – for 30 years. They had different alarm clocks and I never understood how she could wake up to his alarm and his shuffling around only to fall asleep again. It worked for them so who am I to say, right?
Back to my initial question if he’s being inconsiderate or you’re a light sleeper. If the issue is with you, it’s kinda up to you to manage your own sleep. You could make a rule that the bedroom has a “lights on” time. Meaning, it’s a sleep zone until a certain time. Just as people have “lights out” or bedtime, the same can be done for waking up. If he plans to wake up before said time – let’s say 8 a.m. – then he needs to sleep in another room. Ditto for bedtime: if “lights out” time is midnight and he wants to watch TV or come home late, he’s demoted to the couch for the night.
It's a conversation about compromise. I say again, unless he’s doing something inconsiderate you can’t really give him crap for waking up early. Sometimes our bodies get into a routine that we can’t control – it’s just the way it is. Ditto for moving in your sleep. That’s not anything you can control. Do you to tie him down so he can’t move? (Though that could be hot, too.) How do you give him shit for something he has no control over?