I have a decent relationship with my family but my partner is getting very close with them. I still live with them so when he comes over he goes upstairs to say hi to them before coming downstairs to my room. I know I should be happy they like each other but I don't want him being closer to my family than I am.
Too close for comfort, hey? It’s a bit laughable because most people have the concern their family won’t like their partner. This sounds like an ideal situation for the typical relationship. But, I hear what you’re saying. It would be different if he gives you a kiss hello – even giving you 30 seconds of his attention – before socializing with the fam.
Look at it this way: maybe he’s just doing it to get things out of the way so you don’t have interruptions with your family coming downstairs to say hi one after the other. He goes up, says his hellos, then you have privacy for the rest of the visit.
Now, if he’s been at the house for 45 minutes gabbing with them and you don’t even know he’s there, well, that’s an issue. If it’s him spending five minutes and they appreciate his company and are happy to see him, I think you’re getting too possessive of his time and attention.
Have you thought about meeting him at the door? It sounds like he's comfortable enough – and obviously welcome – to just walk in when he gets there. If he’s ringing the doorbell, you should be the one letting him in and that’s when you can get your hello kiss. It almost sounds like you’re expecting him to make his way to you, instead of you welcoming him when he gets to your house.
Overall: chill. Be happy they all like each other.