I just had a first date. Everything was going good. The conversation was a struggle at first. (It's weird how some people are more comfortable texting conversation than speaking face to face.) As things got going, he casually mentioned he has a "Lego room" at home. At first I thought it was a joke so I laughed. (Not super hard but it was a noticeable laugh.) Then he started describing it in detail. Turns out this is a hobby he'd never mentioned in the weeks of texting before we met. I think it's childish and juvenile. I compare it to an adult spending hours playing video games. I can't get over that when I think about how much I could've liked him had he not been into Lego. Do I give it a shot or give him the brush off?
I'll be honest, I kinda laughed, too, when you mentioned a "Lego room." That's not something I've heard of an adult having before, but if it makes him happy, so be it.
“Lego room” conjures up images of childhood bedrooms overflowing with plastic bricks. It’s not exactly the picture of sophisticated adulthood that many of us try to project. But before you write this person off entirely, let's consider a few things.
In a world that often feels relentlessly serious, isn't there something refreshing about someone who embraces their inner child? We're constantly bombarded with messages about productivity, success and "adulting." Maybe, just maybe, this "Lego room" isn't a sign of immaturity, but a testament to their ability to find joy in simple things.
Think about it: building with Lego requires creativity, problem-solving skills and patience. They aren’t just toys anymore; Lego sets have become incredibly complex and artistic, attracting adult fans from all walks of life. Maybe your date is a master builder creating intricate replicas of famous landmarks or designing their own futuristic spaceships. That’s actually pretty cool, right? Actually, even as I type it I'm kinda throwing up in my mouth a little!
Before you make a snap judgment (or another one, anyway) try to learn more about why your date has a Lego room. Is it a lifelong hobby that brings him genuine joy? Is it a creative outlet that helps him de-stress after a long day? Does he collect rare sets and considers it an investment? The "why" behind the Lego room could be surprisingly insightful -- or ammo for more laughter!
Instead of focusing on the perceived childishness, ask him about it. Show genuine curiosity. You could say something like, "So, you mentioned a Lego room. What got you into building with Lego?" I'm sure he's asked you questions for the sake of making conversation, whether or not he's actually interested in the answer.
Let's be honest, we all have our own preconceived notions about what's "acceptable" for adults to enjoy. Maybe you have a hobby that someone else might find strange or silly. Would you want them to dismiss you based on that one aspect of your personality? Probably not.
Sometimes, the things we initially find off-putting in others are simply things we don't understand, or things that challenge our own comfort zones.
So, where do we go from here? Consider a second date. You, yourself, said the date was fine to that point. The date could've been a nightmare where he was a dick and you couldn't wait to get home -- your grown-up Lego-less home.
Use the second date as an opportunity to learn more about his passions, including the Lego room. Ask open-ended questions, listen actively and try to understand their perspective. You might discover a hidden depth that you wouldn't have seen otherwise.
And hey, even if you ultimately decide that a Lego-filled life isn't for you, at least you'll have a good story to tell -- and a follow-up column for our Club Buff readers!