My partner is an organized person and I appreciate that. But he's trying to push his ways onto me. (Do you remember that Seinfeld episode where Elaine confronts Jerry and says, "Everything has to be just so with you"? Well that's the story of my life.) When we travel, we have to be at the airport well in advance and he insists on holding our documents, and he's forever watching the clock. I prefer taking it easy and getting there shortly before boarding time. When we get to the hotel room, the bags have to be put in a certain area and shoes have to be the same. I keep my bathroom stuff (toothbrush, comb, etc.) in a travel bag on the counter but he unpacks and displays everything as if it's our bathroom and home and not a temporary stay. I keep my shirts and other clothes in my suitcase but he unpacks it and hangs them up in the hotel closet. He means well and I appreciate his attention to detail but I'm tempted to say, "Just do your thing and leave my stuff alone" but the last thing I want is to start a fight on vacation when we're stuck together for a week!
Eeek. That sounds annoying. Sounds like travelling with a mom. I'd say shorter vacations! Or at least different rooms!
Before I unleash my fingers to do the brainstorming and type everything that comes to mind as I read your note (that's actually how I write these columns!) I think you've answered your own question. Say to him, "Unpack however you want, it's cool to leave my stuff alone though."
Don't wait until you're simmering with resentment by day four of your trip. Find a calm, neutral moment – perhaps over breakfast or a quiet evening drink – to broach the subject. Avoid accusatory language. Instead of saying "You're driving me crazy with your need for everything to be perfect!" try something like, "I appreciate how organized you are and I know you're trying to make things easier. But when it comes to my stuff, I feel a little overwhelmed when you unpack everything. I prefer to keep my space a bit more contained."
The key here is to find areas where you can meet in the middle. Maybe you can agree that he can organize the shared spaces like the living area, but your personal belongings are off-limits. Perhaps you can compromise on airport arrival times, agreeing to arrive with enough buffer time to avoid stress but not so early that you're twiddling your thumbs at the gate for hours. (Because I can almost guarantee that's when your mind will be in overdrive and you'll be tempted to say something the wrong way and cause that aforementioned fight!)
Tell him that you appreciate his intentions but you need your personal boundaries respected. This could sound like, "I understand you're trying to help, but from now on, I'd really appreciate it if you left my suitcase and bathroom bag as they are." Be prepared to reiterate this boundary if needed.
If you can approach the situation with a sense of humor, it can diffuse tension and make the conversation less confrontational. Gently teasing him about his "Elaine-Jerry" tendencies (referencing your Seinfeld analogy) can be a lighthearted way to address the issue.