I'm in a newer relationship but my partner is still posting thirst traps. It's bothering me that he still seemingly wants attention from his adoring fans. Is it wrong to ask him to change his needy habit on social media?
Sounds like you're dating our desperate Drew. My sympathies.
So, let's cut to the chase: Is it wrong to ask him to change this habit? Absolutely not. It's never wrong to communicate your feelings and needs in a relationship. In fact, it's crucial for building a strong, trusting foundation. The key, however, lies in how you approach the conversation.
This isn't just about a picture; it’s about what those pictures represent to you. It's about feeling secure, valued and like you’re the primary source of attention for your partner. When someone in a new relationship is still actively seeking widespread external validation, it can naturally trigger questions about commitment and focus.
I also note that you don't indicate this is a profession so it's primarily an ego boost for him. (We're fitness models here so I have to make that observation that sometimes, given a line of work, those kinds of pics are necessary to establish and maintain a career.)
Instead of framing it as him having a "needy habit" you want to end (which can feel accusatory and put him on the defensive), focus on your feelings and your needs within the context of your relationship.
I don't think it would be a problem to ask point blank: "There's something I'm uncomfortable with. I'm wondering if you can scale back on the skin pics? It's getting attention I'm not comfortable with in our relationship." Certainly press forward as the discussion continues: "Why is it you continue posting them?"
I also want to know, were said thirst traps something that attracted you to him in the first place? Meaning, is that what prompted your interaction and the start of the relationship? If so, perhaps there is a compromise here. You could say you're comfortable with him leaving the previous ones online but going forward, out of respect for your relationship, he ease up a bit -- or knock it off altogether.
How about this? Make it more fun: join in on the thirsty shots. This way he's still showing off his body AND proving that he's proud of your relationship. I'm not saying you strip down just as he does (unless you're comfortable doing so) but what about him being stripped as usual and giving you a loving embrace and kiss at the same time?
If he truly values you and the relationship, he will listen to your concerns without defensiveness. He might not immediately agree to stop but an open discussion can lead to a compromise that makes both of you feel more comfortable and secure. This isn't about control; it's about establishing what makes each of you feel respected and prioritized as you build a future together.