I noticed recently that my partner's phone is in his first language and not English. It wasn't always that way and I'm suspicious about why he's changed it. It's making me wonder if he's hiding something. Should I confront him?
How much access did you have to his phone before? Would it be something he knows you know? Or was this discovered by spying? Second, has he given you reason to suspect something is going on?
If he’s more comfortable with his native language, it doesn’t seem unreasonable that it would be his first choice on his personal device. If he’s on his phone a lot and reads the news or long-form writing, it’s probably easier and quicker for him to use what’s more comfortable to him.
Have you seen the phone unlocked since the language change? How much snooping have you done? Have you gone through his messages and seen anything that looks remotely cheat-y? If you have, be careful about the confrontation because you’re also in the wrong for invading his privacy. Sure, cheating is likely worse if we’re ranking the deceptions but you can’t come across high and mighty when you, too, are acting badly. And, yes, snooping on his phone is acting badly.
I’m also interested to know how nosy he is with your phone. Is he wondering who just texted you and what they wanted? Or does he let you do your thing because he trusts you? My next thought is if you’re doing something wrong on your phone that makes you believe he’s also up to no good. Are you hiding something?
The simplest and most honest way to get the answer you’re looking for is glance over at his phone when he’s on it and say, “Has it always been (insert language here)?” If you come out swinging or give him the third degree, it’s likely going to blow up in your face. Then again, if he’s given you reason to suspect something is up – and I mean of actual substance and not just something conjured up by your imagination – that’s the open door for asking about it. If not, don’t read into anything and launch unsubstantiated accusations. You’ll always lose that fight.
Finally, I wonder how good the communication in the relationship actually is. Seems like this could be resolved by asking a simple question. I have a hunch, however, you won't believe the answer -- whatever it is,