My husband is a momma's boy but I can't stand her. He insists on having regular dinners at our house and having her over all the time. I'm tempted to make other plans so I don't have to be around when she comes over. How do I keep her from encroaching on my home?
That’s a great idea. If he’s angling the dinners as her coming over to spend time with him, then you can find something else to do. It sounds like this is about mother-son time – at least the way you’re describing it. I notice you don’t describe it as her “coming to visit us” or “spend time with us.” You view it as “having her over” which seems casual and informal.
I also wonder why it’s happening so much/often. How often is “all the time” in your opinion? Also, is she married? A widow? Live alone? Elderly? In poor health? If there’s something else at play here, you might need to give way for compassion if he’s the sole dependent and she needs someone.
There’s nothing wrong with having weekly or monthly dinners. Sometimes you need to suck it up and tolerate it because that’s your husband and that’s his mom. If the focus of the dinners is their togetherness and you’re a minor player – or not even that – what’s the harm in you doing something else during that time? Are you included in what’s happening or do you seem like a third wheel? If the latter, say you’ve got plans that night and bounce. (You have a spa appointment... that hubby is paying for!)
Now, if she’s abusive or rude or disrespectful to you, that’s a whole other story. That’s definitely a conversation to have with the husband because he needs to stick up for you. If he’s a momma’s boy in the true definition, that means he’d choose her over you. And that’s where the red flags come in – and the casting producers from TLC.
If it’s simply not liking her, that’s kind of on you. If there’s something she does to make you uncomfortable in your own home, you need to address that and stand up to your husband, telling him that it’s your house and nobody – not even his mother – will treat/talk to you that way. I hate ultimatums but if it’s at that point, it might be your last resort. How big of an issue is this for you?