My partner insists on bringing his phone to bed. He literally sleeps with it on his pillow. In the morning, he always complains about being tired. He insists on having the phone because he wants to be reachable in case something happens and people need to reach him. How do I make our bedroom a no-phone zone?
I’ve only been doing this advice thing for a little while but the phone and social media seem to be the biggest relationship issues people have. And to think just a few years ago it would’ve been sex problems. Now it’s phone and social media concerns. Are people having sex anymore??
Our bosses have a no-phone rule in their bedroom. In fact, the phones are on an entirely different floor of the house overnight. They tell us that they sleep better than they ever have.
There are some people who insist on having their phone right beside them because they want to be reachable in the event something happens with a loved one in the middle of the night. That’s fine to keep your phone nearby but it doesn’t have to be five inches from your head.
Here’s the thing, when you wake up in the middle of the night, roll over and reach for the phone, you’re training yourself to look at it every time you wake up. And we all wake up a bunch of times in the middle of the night.
So, what would happen if the phone is still in the room but across the way? Would you expect he’ll physically get out of bed over and over again to look at it? If he will, that might be a bigger conversation to have. But once he realizes that the phone isn’t within reach, he’ll likely forget about it and go back to sleep. It might take some time to untrain himself but it’s doable.
I tested this theory a few weeks ago. In my bedroom, the phone charges on the table beside my bed. I glance at it several times in the night to check the time. But, when I fall asleep on the couch and my phone is on the arm of the sofa (above my head, basically), I don't reach for it or check it at all at night. Why? I'm guessing because it's not an easy reach away.
My final verdict for you: Have his phone on a table or shelf across the room. If he refuses, tell him to sleep in another room because beds are for sleeping and not scrolling.