My relationship has been over for about three months and I think I'm over it but I can't help checking my ex's social media to see what he's up to. Am I obsessed or just not over him?
It sounds like you’re either not over the ex or jealous that your ex is carrying on with life – or a combination of both. Either way, your ex is winning because your ex is out there living and you’re hunched over with your digital binoculars refreshing the ex’s social media pages. What’s the saying: “living rent-free in your head”?
Why aren’t you more concerned about going out and upstaging the ex with your own amazing experiences? Isn’t that the ultimate revenge? Don’t we want to be happier than we were in the previous relationships we had?
Sounds to me like you got dumped and can’t get over it. If your goal here is to win back the ex, obsessively stalking and keeping tabs only amplifies the desperation. And that’s not a good look in the "trust me, I’ve changed” argument. Maybe that’s why your ass got dumped in the first place. (Just assuming but, you know...)
If the relationship has left unresolved feelings and you’re looking for closure, creeping online is definitely not the way to get there. I imagine you also scroll through the pics of you two together and remember the times that were. But that’s the problem: you’re living in the past. The world keeps moving no matter what we’re going through. No matter how much you hope to pause the moment or go back in time, you can’t. You can’t change things. What’s done is done. Dwelling on that and refusing to move on is only punishing yourself.
Think about how much you’ve witnessed your ex doing in the time you’ve been monitoring. Have you done even a tenth of that? If not, why? You’ve pissed away however many weeks, months, years caring for someone who obviously doesn’t give a shit about you if this is one-sided. Why waste the energy? Get a life. There’s no reason not to.