My partner is a Disney fanatic and wants to go there every chance he gets. It's too juvenile for me. I don't mind amusement rides but I can't handle pretending to be in some fairy tale land with thousands of kids on leashes and their miserable parents. I can't exactly lie and say I have other plans since we live together and he knows my schedule. How do I ditch Disney?
My first thought was do something outrageous to get banned for life! But, let's be a little more realistic.
(And let me give everyone some behind-the-scenes info on these columns. After I read your concern, I sit down and type whatever my initial thoughts are. This isn't researched and well thought out. I go with my gut right after I read your message.)
It’s tough when the very thing your significant other adores is something you dread, especially when your living situation makes fabricating excuses impossible. You’re not alone in feeling that repeated trips to "the happiest place on Earth" can feel more like a happily-ever-after nightmare for an adult who finds the magic a bit… much.
In a relationship, we don't have to like the same thing as our partner. In fact, it makes things more fun when we have opposite interests. So, it's OK not to share every single one of your partner's hobbies, especially one that involves interacting with thousands of children and their "miserable parents" (your words, not mine, but I've been there so I can confirm that's what it is!)
Here's what could be done to navigate this because, you know, it's a small world after all.
Don’t attack his joy. But, express your needs. Instead of saying, "Disney is juvenile and I hate it," try framing it from your perspective: "I find that repeated trips to Disney are honestly a bit draining for me. I struggle with the constant crowds and the very specific atmosphere. I crave different kinds of experiences for our shared downtime." This isn't a criticism of his love for Disney; it's an assertion of your personal limits and preferences.
Offer alternatives that are Disney-esque. Don't just say "no." Say "no, but how about this instead?" If you like rides, suggest a different theme park that's more adult-oriented or a local fair. Or, step away from amusement parks altogether. "What if we tried that new hiking trail?" Or "Remember that cooking class we talked about? I'd love to do that next weekend with you." Show that you want to spend quality time together, just not always in Fantasyland. (Unless you're kinky and Fantasyland is at your... never mind. Focus.)
Remind him that it's OK to do things apart from each other. "Why don't you go with [friend/family member] next time, or even just go by yourself and really soak it all in? I'll use that time to [pursue your hobby, relax, visit a museum]." This shows support for his passion while carving out essential "you" time for yourself. It also might make him realize that he doesn't always need you there to enjoy it.
Perhaps you can agree to go once or twice per year. "I'm happy to go for a special occasion, say, for your birthday, but not every few months."
And, unless you're a really good actor (or a faker!) he probably knows you're not into Disney. If you don't offer the same enthusiasm that he has, he's likely sensing you're a tag-along to appease him and not fully enjoying the moment. This might not be much of a surprise to him when you bring it up.
If he doesn't respect your feelings, he's definitely not your Prince Charming.