I'm in a new relationship and I'm just starting to meet my partner's friends. I can't stand a lot of them and we just don't click. It's not affecting the relationship (yet) but I have no interest in hanging around them. Will this be a problem in the future?
Probably. But there are plenty of couples where each party has their own friends or group that they hang with. In fact, I know of several couples that like to keep their friends separate because they are so different.
This is especially true if you’re an opposites-attract couple. By that, I mean one is an introvert and the other an extrovert; one is a party animal and the other is a homebody; one is a club dancer and the other is a book reader; one is a sports fanatic and the other is into theatre. People have different interests and that’s OK.
The issue is why you don’t like them. Is it their personalities? Is it the things they do? Is it the way they raise their kids? What is it? If you just don’t jive, there’s nothing wrong with that. But the thing to keep in mind is if you’re judging and being critical of people who were around before you, your partner’s loyalty might lie with them since they have seniority in his life.
Have you spent enough time with them to get a good sense of who they are? First impressions, yes, are important but have you given them a chance? Be careful before you start trash talking his BFF. If it’s a new relationship, as you describe, you’re definitely not at BFF status and still have many levels to climb.
If your partner insists on getting together with his friends, figure out a way to hang out where your direct interaction with them is minimal. If they’re going to a sporting event, you can sit at the end of the row beside him and let them take up his attention on the other side. This way you don’t have to sit beside them and all of your attention is focused elsewhere. Ditto for a concert or going to a show.
If it’s a game night at someone’s place, well, fake a headache that night and stay home. (I’m not suggesting to base your relationship on lies but in this case, I don’t think it’s a major issue. Just don’t go out on your own and get caught. That’s your own stupidity at that point!)
At the same time, is there any harm in saying, “It’s OK, you guys have a good time. I’ll go next time”?
If you expect this to be a long-term relationship and these people mean a great deal to him, you might have to suck it up and tolerate them or -- gasp -- get to know them and like them.