I appreciate that my parents are accepting of my being gay. In previous years they've told me to go have fun at Pride and be safe. This year, they want to come with me and my group of friends to the parties and the bars. Should I tell them no or just say I'm not doing Pride this year and go out secretly?
My initial thought is find a group of really wild and radical-looking people to show up as your friends and have them scare your parents out of hanging with them and voila! Problem solved!
OK, OK, I realize silly sarcasm isn't going to help the problem. Let's get serious -- but only for a moment.
This is a classic case of good intentions colliding with the realities of maintaining your own identity and social life. It’s a delicate situation, because you clearly appreciate your parents' support, but you also deserve to enjoy Pride with your friends without feeling like you're chaperoning a field trip.
When I was a teenager, I couldn't imagine hanging out with my parents on a Saturday night, but two of my friends (a brother and sister) had really cool parents that our group enjoyed hanging out with -- and we were in our late teens! Imagine that: liking hanging out with adults when you're a high schooler. But it was a good time.
Back to you though.
You're not a bad person for wanting to enjoy Pride with your friends without your parents tagging along.
Sit down with your parents and have an honest conversation. Explain what Pride means to you and your friends – maybe it's a chance to let loose, dance, connect with the community, or even find a spark with someone cute. Explain that having parents around might change the vibe for you and your friends. Frame it in a way that emphasizes your experience, not their perceived shortcomings.
You could say something like, "Mom and Dad, I really appreciate you wanting to come to Pride with me. It means a lot. But it might be a little different than you expect, and I want to make sure everyone has a good time."
Also, instead of a full day of awkward tagging along, suggest alternative ways for them to participate. Maybe they could join you for the Pride parade in the morning, then you can all grab lunch together afterward. Or perhaps they could attend a specific event that aligns with their interests, like a family-friendly festival or a community picnic. This way, they still feel included and supportive but aren’t cramping your style all day.
Talk to your friends beforehand and let them know the situation. Ask them to be understanding and welcoming to your parents, even if they're a little…overenthusiastic. Having your friends on board can ease the tension and make the experience more manageable. Plus, a buffer of friendly faces can help deflect some of those well-intentioned, but potentially embarrassing, questions.
As for going out secretly/lying: I wouldn't. And I'm not sure they'd believe you if you say you're not going if they know how much Pride means to you.
Before you let this ruin your mood, remember that you're very lucky to have parents that not only support you but also want to be with you for "your" event. Embarrassing? Sure. But you should be happy you're so incredibly loved by your folks.