Collin is definitely no Gabe when it comes to pitiful dance moves but he fancies himself a showman when it comes to weddings. His reputation for, uh, unique dance moves precedes him. We've all witnessed the… enthusiasm… he brings to Buff Loft.
But a recent family wedding took his performance to a whole new level -- a level we shall henceforth refer to as "peak Collin."
Apparently, the combination of celebratory spirits and the irresistible rhythm of "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire proved too potent. Collin, loosened by liquid courage (he hasn't revealed the drink), unleashed his full repertoire of dance moves upon the unsuspecting wedding guests.
There were twists, there were shimmies, there were moves best described as "interpretive." But it was Collin's signature move, the one that truly cements his place in the office hall of fame (or infamy, depending on your perspective), that brought down the house… or rather, ripped the seams.
You see, Collin has this… thing. A gravity-defying, toe-touching jump that, when executed correctly, is a sight to behold. It’s a testament to flexibility, athleticism and, let's be honest, a healthy dose of reckless abandon. At this wedding, however, things didn't go quite as planned.
Sources (a.k.a. a very enthusiastic aunt who wouldn't stop texting him after) report that as Collin launched himself into his signature aerial maneuver, a tell-tale riiiiiip echoed across the dance floor. Yes, Buff buddies, Collin's pants split. And not just a discreet little tear, mind you. We're talking a full-blown, "moon is out, party's over" situation.
For the guy who rarely rocks underwear... well, 'nuff said.
The immediate reaction? Applause! Unadulterated, roaring applause. One can only imagine Collin's initial confusion. Was this appreciation for his daring dance move? Was the wedding crowd simply that easily impressed? Then, the chilling -- temperature wise -- realization dawned. It wasn't his talent they were celebrating, but rather the gaping hole in his trousers.
Now, most people would have retreated in shame, seeking refuge in the bathroom with a roll of duct tape and a heavy dose of self-pity. Not Collin. Our man, ever the social butterfly (or, in this case, the social butt-erfly), persevered.
He spent the rest of the evening mingling with guests, sporting his… ahem… ventilated trousers. Pictures, naturally, were taken. He became the unintentional life of the party, a walking, talking, slightly exposed cautionary tale about the dangers of overzealous toe-touching -- and quite possibly the need to wear underwear.
The question on everyone's minds, of course, is: How did Collin handle the situation? Well, according to our inside sources, he embraced it. He laughed, he danced (slightly less vigorously), and he even managed to charm a few of the older relatives with his "down-to-earth" personality.
So, what have we learned from Collin's wedding pants predicament? Firstly, know your limitations. While toe-touching jumps might seem like a good idea in theory, consider the structural integrity of your clothing before attempting them. (Maybe a test jump or two at home before the event?) Secondly, embrace the chaos. Life throws you curveballs (or, in this case, rips your pants). Learn to laugh at yourself and roll with the punches (or, perhaps, the revealed derriere).
And finally, Collin, if you're reading this -- and we know you are because you're a cocky bastard -- we salute you. You turned a potential wardrobe malfunction into a moment of legendary proportions. Just maybe, next time, consider your other signature go-tos: the worm and the Electric Slide.