It's time to get to know Tanner a little better. He answers 20 off-the-wall questions to, well, kill some time and give you a laugh.
If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?
Cats, without a doubt. Imagine the endless stream of passive-aggressive insults disguised as purrs. "Oh, you call that a head scratch? Pathetic." They're such assholes.
What mythical creature is most likely to be real, but is just REALLY good at hiding?
A unicorn that's mastered advanced camouflage. Probably blending in with a field of white horses, just waiting for the perfect moment to photobomb a wedding.
If you could have any superpower, but it only worked while you were wearing a rubber chicken hat, what would it be?
Teleportation, but only to the nearest ethically sourced chicken nugget. Priorities, people!
What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten on purpose?
A cricket taco. It tasted like regret and a mild existential crisis. Sigh, Mexico.
If you could replace all the world's currency with something else, what would it be?
Stickers. Everyone loves stickers! Plus, they're much harder to counterfeit.
What's the worst advice you've ever received?
Studying in school is pointless: either you know it before the test or you don't; there's no sense in stressing out during a cram session. I believed it because I hated studying but I highly recommend studying before tests.
If you could have any animal as a personal butler, which one would it be and why?
A kangaroo. "Get me another beer. Hop to it!" And they can help you carry the groceries in their pouch.
What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen someone do in public?
Someone trying to parallel park a Smart Car in a space big enough for a semi-truck, and still failing.
If you were a fruit, what kind would you be and why?
A grape. Small, easily crushed, but tastes great in wine.
What's the most embarrassing song you secretly love?
Mmmmbop (I don't remember how many Ms in the title.)
If you could invent a new holiday, what would it be and how would people celebrate it?
I don't know about a holiday but I kind of love the idea of switching the days around so that each one gets a turn at being the favorite day of the week. Why does Friday get all the glory and Monday all the hate? When have we ever heard someone say, "Yes, finally, it's Tuesday!"? Switch up the order of the days on the calendar: Wednesday, Friday, Monday, Thursday, Saturday, Tuesday, Sunday.
What's the silliest talent you possess?
When I sneak food from a large portion, I can cover so that it doesn't look like any is missing. My mom always made sugar cookies at Christmas and she'd have containers and containers in the freezer. We weren't allowed to have them before Christmas. Obviously the containers were full but I'd sneak them all the time and then re-stack them unevenly so that it never looked like any were missing. Ditto when we have a meat or cheese platter here. I'll eat and eat and eat, and then rearrange the spread so you'd never know how much was missing. I get away with it every time. Every. Time.
If you could have a conversation with any fictional character, who would it be and what would you talk about?
Austin Powers. Shagging tips.
What is something you are obsessed with right now?
I think we're all kind of obsessed with watching the L.A. police pursuits that are on TV every day here.
How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?
Bring them into the convo with Austin about shagging and distract them.
If you had to live in a cartoon, which one would you pick?
The Jetsons. I was fascinated with that show as a kid. Loved the technology and futuristic elements.
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Tacos - soooooooooo many topping and flavor choices!
What is the most useless thing you know?
How to make a paper airplane..
What is the dumbest purchase you have ever made?
That book, "The Secret" that everyone raved about years ago. Remember it?
What is your biggest irrational fear?
Bananas - it's something about the texture that grosses me out!