It's time to get to know Collin a little better. He answers 20 off-the-wall questions to, well, kill some time and give you a laugh.
If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?
For sure a goose. I ran into some in Canada. From a distance the honking is annoying but the hissing when you get close is downright threatening. I can only imagine what they're really saying.
What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten on a dare?
I ate a spoonful of mayonnaise and pickle juice once. Never again. My taste buds are still recovering.
If you could have any superpower, but it could only be used for incredibly mundane tasks, what would it be?
The ability to always find matching socks. Think of the time saved!
What's the most embarrassing song you secretly love to sing along to?
Anything by the Backstreet Boys. There's something about the childhood boy bands. You can go years without hearing them and then a song comes on and you still remember every word -- every one. And then you rush to YouTube or whatever and start listening to everything from childhood and it becomes a four-hour song (and maybe dance) session. Anyone else? Anyone??
If you were a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be and why?
A potato. Versatile, comforting, butter-smeared, pairs well with bacon, can be fried.
What's your go-to dance move when nobody's watching?
Something with hip thrusts and arms waving.
What's the silliest thing you've ever argued about?
The proper way to load the dishwasher. It resulted in hand washing many things for a while.
If you could rename any everyday object, what would you rename it and why?
I'd rename "refrigerator" to "food sanctuary." It just sounds more majestic.
What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever bought online?
A banana slicer. I used it once. Come to think of it, I don't even know where it is now.
One more thing that I just remembered after answering all the other questions and I'm coming back to answer: a book on how to fold towels into those origami things that housekeeping puts on your bed at fancy resorts. You know what I'm talking about. It's one thing for someone to do it for you as a nice decorative surprise, but the practicality of doing it for yourself loses something.
If you could only communicate through interpretive dance for a day, how would you order a pizza?
A lot of frantic hand gestures involving circles and pretending to sprinkle cheese. If costumes were allowed, dressing like one of the Mario Bros. would be epic.
What’s a food combination that others find weird, but you secretly love?
I put sunflower seeds (not with the shells) in garlic mashed potatoes one time. The salt and crunch of the seeds works with the softness of the potato.
If you were a professional wrestler, what would be your name and signature move?
The Simp Dimp because I might be simple but I flash the dimple and distract my opponent with a winning smile before making my move.
What’s your go-to excuse when you’re late to something?
“Traffic was really bad.” It’s boring, but effective -- unless you live where you work and that's about 20 feet from the meeting room... where your other roommates clearly made it on time and their bedrooms are less than 50 feet away. Just imagine if everyone tried going there all at once. Traffic nightmare! Better to go a little later and miss the rush.
If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Flesh color. No shirt is the way to live.
What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
I have a lot of them. One time that I showed up to a highway diner and discovered it was Mel's from the show Alice and that it was actually a TV show at the same time. So, I was a real customer but then given lines when I went in and expected to be part of the show while legitimately having a meal that I was paying for. A literal dinner theater, I guess.
If you could have any animal as a pet, regardless of size or danger, what would it be?
A red panda. They’re adorable and fluffy and I want to cuddle one.
What's the most useless talent you possess?
I’m really good at losing things.
What is the most ridiculous thing you have ever seen someone do in public?
This is West Hollywood. You name it, we've seen it. I did see a funny sign one time that said "free sex" and there was a pronged spear situated right in the middle. I'm not sure if the intent was to imply something but that's how I took it. I mean, understood it to mean, not, like, actually took it in the sense of... uh, let's move on...
If you could replace all the traffic lights with something else, what would it be?
Strobe lights. So when you get tickets from the traffic cameras you aren't surprised because you saw the flashes and expected it, anyway.
What is the most absurd thing you have ever convinced someone was true?
Oh, god, hellooooooo. We live with small-town Brazilian Leo who'd never experienced full electricity before coming to L.A. We can tell him anything and he thinks it's true. He saw Santa in Canada last Christmas and texted all of us. He said it was different than the one from movies. We told him the Hollywood one was making movies and might stop by for coffee during the holiday season.
Last week, we took him to a pet store to see turtles for the first time. I told him some of them eat pizza like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.