It's time to get to know Ben a little better. He answers 20 off-the-wall questions to, well, kill some time and give you a laugh.
If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?
Cats. They don't even have to talk. They're just rude and full of themselves. Ain't nobody got time for that.
What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever worn in public?
A T-shirt that said 'I'm with Stupid' with an arrow pointing upwards. I was walking alone.
If you could have any superpower, but it had to be mildly inconvenient, what would it be?
Super speed, but only when walking backwards.
What's your go-to dance move when no one is watching?
I just flail. It's less of a dance move and more of an existential crisis expressed through limb movement. And if this coffee boy thing doesn't work out, I can get a job on the lawn of a car dealership.
If you were a vegetable, what would you be and why?
An artichoke. Layered, complex and requires a lot of effort to get to the good stuff.
What's the weirdest food combination you secretly enjoy?
Just straight-up lemons. I like the sourness. People look at me weird but whatever.
If you had to communicate solely through interpretive dance for a day, what would be the first thing you'd try to convey?
Hunger and some form of belly dance where I rub my belly.
What's the most embarrassing song you secretly know all the words to?
Tubthumping.
If you could invent a new holiday, what would it be and how would it be celebrated?
National Shredded Cheese Day with every meal that day covered with shredded cheese. Lots of international cheeses on everything. Tons of flavor combinations. I'm the chef here.
What's the silliest thing you've ever argued about?
Walking alongside a friend who insisted on walking to my right. Always.
If you could rename any common object, what would it be and what would you call it?
Rename: Socks. New Name: "Foot Hugs"
What is your spirit animal and why?
A honey badger, because they're fearless and don't give a damn.
If you could have any fictional character as your roommate, who would it be and why?
Homer Simpson, because life would always be entertaining (though messy) and we'd eat really good.
What is the most ridiculous thing you have ever bought and why?
An inflatable kids pool that I used as a bathtub to relax in outside one summer.
If you could have any talent, no matter how useless, what would it be?
The power to always know the exact number of jelly beans in a jar. I could win so many contests and great prizes.
If you were a professional wrestler, what would be your wrestling move?
The 'Dad Joke Destroyer' - an epic barrage of puns and dad jokes!
What do you think cats dream about?
How they can be bigger assholes tomorrow.
What would be the title of your autobiography?
"Still Figuring It Out."
What is your favorite part of a rainbow?
I don't know what that means.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A chef. I did it!